So here’s a game that many of us never expected to see; an open-world detective game which has been in continual development for well over seven years. In a world where most video games are rushed out in eighteen months or less, and even “triple-A” titles are typically completed in well under three years, just imagine the sort of loading screens which would be achievable with a full seven year development timeline. Booting the game up for the first time, I was quite giddy with anticipation of the first load screen. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the longest-awaited load screen yet:
Well, darn.
The screenshot above is the standard loading screen, commonly seen when beginning one of the game’s chapters, or when using a “fast travel” mechanism to rapidly transit from one part of the city to another. As you can see, it is about as bad an example as we’ve ever seen; flat black backdrop, “Loading” text, and a spinner. Worse, the spinner is made up of two arrows which indicate spinning even in a static screenshot. It’s quite disappointing to see so little effort on such a core element of the game, even when seven years of development time were available. Team Bondi: you need to lift your game!
There is a second loading screen, though, for loads which take more than four or five seconds. Here it is:
This loading screen displays a static screen with a black and white photograph which is largely unrelated to what is being loaded. As with the more usual loading screen, there is loading text and a spinner.
Some have come forward suggesting that LA Noire be considered a contender for game of the year. But to be honest, looking at these screens (and the resulting ratings), I can’t see that as being likely. Really, at this stage, there’s nothing else to do but to go to the scoring.
“Travelling” Load Screen
- Solid black background: 0 base points.
- “Loading” text on screen: 0.5 penalty points.
- Load spinner: 1 penalty point.
Rating: 
(capped at zero)
“Lengthy” Load Screen
- Static image background: 2 base points.
- “Loading” text on screen: 0.5 penalty points.
- Load spinner: 1 penalty point.
Rating: 
Overall Rating: